Teen Breakups – How to Handle the Situation
While it is natural for a parent to want to fix everything when their teen has experienced their first break up from their one true love, it may not assist in teaching your teen what they need to learn as a means to prepare for another relationship and quite possibly future heart breaks. As a parent you may be unable to guard them from a relationship or a broken heart, but you can learn how to handle the situation of a teen breakup to be there for them during this difficult time.
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- Don’t Minimize the Pain – What they are feeling is real to them, let them know that their feelings are important to you and that they are valid. Take a moment to remember how your first breakup felt, use a bit of empathy and compassion to step back from the parent who wants to tell your teen it’s better off this way to assure them their pain is real and it hurts but you will be there to give them your undivided attention as they work through processing the hurt.
- Cut Them Some Slack – Determine how long you will give them time to grieve before attempting to redirect them forward and give them a little bit of slack during their time of grief. It is healthy for them to be allotted a grieving period and if you let them have this time of grief along with cutting them some slack, the grieving period should be shorter than if you placed more pressure upon their shoulders during their sad time.
- Lend your Heart, More than Words – At this stage in your teen’s life, they don’t want you to give a ton of advice regarding this breakup, they want to have your hugs, a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. When they are dealing with a breakup; the last thing they want is more parental advice, if you give too much advice during this trying time, it is sure to make the situation spiral out of control. Just be there for them, think with your heart, rather than your parent hat during this time.
- Assure your Teen – Once the grieving period has passed and it is time for them to attempt to move forward in life start to use more reassuring words that will boost their confidence. Drop little post-it type notes around their room with positive sayings. Make them their favorite breakfast in bed one morning and do things that will make your teen feel fulfilled and in turn start to forget about this breakup.
Being a parent is the most difficult job in the world, for parents have to learn when to let go, yet be there all at the same time. Dealing with a teen breakup may seem like an impossible feat for you as a parent, but rest assured if you follow the above suggestions on how to handle a teen breakup, you will see that things will start to look up sooner than later.
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