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5 Tips to Positive Co-Parenting

Co-parenting is what happens when two parents find themselves divorced and living apart after creating a child together. While co-parenting can be extremely trying on emotions for everyone involved, there are ways to make sure your family ends up with a positive co-parenting situation. The first key in learning how to co-parent positively is to remember that you divorced the parent, not the children. When you set aside the negative emotions from the divorce and have a positive mindset on the life you want your children to have, positive co-parenting ignites. Read the article to find out which 5 Tips to Positive Parenting help your child to have a positive outlook and high self-esteem.

• Assure your Child – Make sure to take time to communicate with your child about the divorce and the impending visitation schedule. Don’t keep them in the dark!  Remind them  that this situation is not their fault. Be adamant and have open communication with them about their feelings during this transition in their life. Remember that your child may be having emotions that this may be their fault, so both parents need to work on allowing the child to openly express their feelings.  Help them work through those emotions.
• Treat Co-Parenting Like a Business – When you learn to let go of the emotions from your divorce, it will remove any hostility that you may have had towards each other. In reality, the only communication that you may have with your ex is pertaining to raising the children. Try not to be bitter as your actions and negativity will be passed on to the children.  Think about co-parenting as a business structure, both parents listening to the needs of the other in regards to their child as well as respecting each other’s parental wishes.
• Think Before Speaking – If you and your ex are having a co-parenting argument about the child, step away from the conversation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with walking away from a conversation to come back when both of you are more level-headed. When emotions are high, do not speak to your co-parent, think first and speak later, so as to not create more tension for your child.
• Set Boundaries – When setting up your visitation schedule for each parent,  be certain to set boundaries as to when each parent may communicate with the other as well as what form of communication may be used. If your ex and you had a hostile breakup, then you may want to use email as your only form of communication. In the meantime,  work to build a positive co-parenting situation. Using forms of communication like text messaging will make it easier to fuel the fire when you two have a disagreement.
• Only Discuss the Child – There is no reason to discuss the relationship after divorce, feelings between the two of you or what your plans are for the future.  Your ex is now your ex and only a part of parenting. Be strict about only discussing your child rather than other personal information as a means to keep the business structure flowing properly.

Keep in mind that both your ex and you are human beings who will make mistakes, no matter how hard you try to follow these tips to positive co-parenting. There will be a lot of struggles along the pathway of raising kids in separate households. The sad fact about co-parenting is that you cannot control what happens in the other parent’s home.  Transitional issues between households will be common for the child due to different rules and environments at their other parent’s home. It’s how you handle the transition that results in a positive co-parenting situation in the best interest of your child.

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