FollowHow to Manage Being a Single Parent
It’s not a place someone usually sets out to be, but none the less, many parents will at some point find themselves learning how to manage being a single parent. It takes two to make a child. In many circumstances, such as death, divorce, apathy, abandonment, a spouse in the military on a deployment, or even by choice, can leave a person juggling life as a parent alone. Whatever the reason, there are some things that can make the situation easier to handle.
For many, having a set routine and schedule is key to managing life as a single parent. A schedule doesn’t have to mean every minute is strictly planned. However, knowing from day to day what and how things will play out is important. Having a schedule and routine means everyone has something to count on, something they can rely on and expect to be basically the same at all times. This is comforting to both parents and children, especially when many other aspects of life may seem in upheaval. Knowing when the household needs to wake, who showers when, what time everyone has to be out the door is important for making sure things run smoothly. The same goes as to when meals are on the table and what typical bedtimes are. Setting a schedule and routine helps reduce the feeling of being rushed, stressed, or out of control. It also helps to make everyone feel more secure.
Another helpful tip for life as a single parent is to set expectations for yourself and children. Enforce these expectations whether at home or out in public. This does not mean you have to be a drill sergeant to your children, but running a bit of a tight ship will reduce unnecessary stress. Having consistent expectations and discipline helps everyone to feel more secure. If you would not dream of allowing your child to run wild in a restaurant or throw food on the floor, do not allow this behavior at home. Children are often unable to understand why one behavior is suitable at home, but not in public or at grandma’s house. Be consistent and make sure children, of all ages, know what is expected of them and what consequences they may face when there is inappropriate behavior.
Quite possibly the most important tip to managing life as a single parent is the need to develop a support system. Whether it is a friend, a relative, the daycare person, your child’s teacher, or any number of other people in your life, every parent needs a place to turn. You may need someone to talk to, a person you can seek advice from, a back up for picking children up from school or daycare, or simply someone who can step in periodically to help you out or give you a brief break. Reach out to people and welcome the offer of helping hands. The old saying “It takes a village” is very true. Build your village carefully.
Just like parenting in a traditional two parent home, there is not a right or wrong way to be a parent. It’s a learning experience. Some things will work and some won’t. Remember to show your children unconditional love, be involved in their lives, let some things slide (for their sake and yours), and don’t be afraid to throw out a routine or way of doing things if it just not working for your family. Parenting isn’t easy, no matter who you are, but it is rewarding and enjoyable. There are many ways to manage it, regardless of the situation.
