FollowCommon Signs of a Dysfunctional Family
There is no one out there who starts a family with the intention of falling into patterns of dysfunction. However, sometimes it is all too easy for this to develop between the baggage of the past and the pressures of today. Every family has periods of time where normal function is interrupted by stressful circumstances like family illness or a death in the family. The difference is that normal families deal with what is at hand and then return to their normal function after the crisis is over. However, with dysfunctional families, these problems become chronic and develop into negative behavioral patterns. There are some signs that can help you recognize whether or not your family is dysfunctional.
Repetitiveness– If you and your family seem to have the same argument over and over yet nothing gets resolved; this is a sign that something is not right. Communication is vital to a functioning family and without it your family can fall into the cycle of dysfunction. Most families argue at one point or another but if your family keeps rehashing things that went wrong weeks or months ago, this is a problem.
Tension– Most families relish the calm family times and avoid arguments whenever possible. However, dysfunctional families are always waiting for something bad to happen when things are going good. If you are in a dysfunctional family, you can enjoy it when times are good because you know something bad will happen eventually. People in dysfunctional families are always living in constant fear of when the next argument will happen.
Uncertainty– People in dysfunctional families are not sure of who or what to expect when they get home at the end of the day. Normal families come home and welcome each other and talk about their events of the day. However, with dysfunctional families, you have no idea what will happen when you walk through the door. Someone in the family that was sweet and kind yesterday may be waiting to bite your head off today. Dysfunctional family members always are living on the edge, watching every word they say and monitoring each move they make.
Blame– Dysfunctional family members always blame one another for everything. These family members never take accountability for anything and they will always twist situations around, leave out things that don’t serve them and revise the story completely.
Guilt– One of the signs that your family is dysfunctional is that you find yourself apologizing for each and every little thing, even things you didn’t do. You find yourself apologizing just to keep the peace but soon find yourself feeling ashamed and worthless. You think that other family member’s angry reactions are justified.
If these signs strike a chord with you, you are likely in a family that is dysfunctional. If this is the case, it is time to get some help by talking to someone-a good friend, family member or professional.
