Dealing with Sleepovers of the Opposite Sex
Back when I was a teenager, there was absolutely no way that my parents would ever let my boyfriend sleep over or vice versa. It wasn’t even something that was up for discussion because it simply wasn’t ever going to happen. It just was not an appropriate thing to do. However, things have really changed since then.
I know that there are still some parents who will not even consider having someone of the opposite sex sleepover. No way, no how, not going to happen.
I, totally respect the fact that people have different opinions about opposite sex sleepovers. Some parents don’t care who their teen invites to their sleep overs. Some only allow their current boyfriend/girlfriend sleep over. Other parents dismiss the idea completely. But, many parents don’t think that forbidding their teen to have a sleepover with someone of the opposite sex is the best way to make sure their teen adopts their values.
Here are some facts about teens, relationships and sex. When a teen is ready to have sex or wants to have sex, they are going to do it whether you allow a sleepover or not. They will simply find somewhere to do it and it may not be the safest place to have sex. Furthermore, it may not even be with someone you approve of. If they are not ready to have sex, they simply won’t do it, even if you allow their dating partner to sleep over. If your son or daughter has their girlfriend or boyfriend sleep over, it doesn’t mean they are going to have sex.
The key is to talk to them about sex and safe sex. As parents, we need to instill self-confidence in our child. Teach them that no means no, it doesn’t matter what side of the gate they are on. If they say it, they mean it. If they hear it, they respect it. Tell them about safe sex and answer questions they may have. If you need to get your daughter on birth control pills and your son some condoms, then do so. It is crucial that they practice safe sex.
It is important that your child knows they can come talk to you at any time about anything that happens in their everyday life.